Some media and some confrontation

Watching Spielberg’s “Empire of the Sun” affected me pretty strongly on Thursday and Friday. I felt overwhelming poignacy and it left a sense the mind is a joke, essentially a lie. Also listened to a couple podcasts that got me thinking: What happens when you don’t use intuition? You get ghost stories on your show like #2 in Anything Ghost podcast #80. This series is otherwise thought stimulating, so far. Also, in a success-book-highlights podcast Philosopher’s Notes, in an episode called “The Secret of Happiness” the question raised is: What do you love? And, what percent of your life do you dedicate to it? My answer was, truth and friendships (esp. on the path) and 10% and less than 1%.

The Saturday PSI meeting and meditation left me in a spot of high tension. In life there are things I both want and fear and watching such a “perfect” conflict (as Art put it) leads me to feel it really is a terrible experience and I want transcendence or death. He also pointed out within threat is I will get thrown back into the void, and so I’m fearing the void/death. When I am meditating on being on my deathbed, however, the songs of only life lose their value because I want to know about life and death now. To really know death I need to die, so I am trying to bring my mind to that point and beyond.