Egotism and progress

Meditation-wise I missed half. I’ve been splitting the two one-hour sessions commitment into one one-hour session with five minutes prior to choose a topic and one one-hour session where I work on insecurity. One day I noted “action is so nice”.

Went to TAT’s April meeting and was caught in my thoughts and spinning almost the whole time. Actually, this is probably not unusual – paying attention would be unusual. My two main battles were 1. between a part that wants to expand my ego and a part that is afraid of the inevitable feeling of new attachments being torn away and 2. between putting attention on that battle of egotism and defensiveness and a part that values truth. On the good side I did see some of my psychology, some new robotic viewable stuff, at least for now.