What’s been going on lately?

Job search – I’m looking for a job. This task is difficult in our current climate of ‘economic crisis’. I spent most of last week preparing for a numerical and verbal reasoning test that I was given to complete by last Saturday by a firm I’m interested in. I’m not a big fan of these tests! They’re designed to assess speed and accuracy. I haven’t heard back from them yet.

Meditation – Since the 18th of March I set myself the task of meditating daily for 30 days. Why? I wanted to build ‘power’, to build an ability to DO what I say I’ll do. It was going well for 17  days, and then a slip occurred last Sunday, when I slept through my meditation session. This slip was followed by a complete miss; the next day, Monday, I unintentionally missed a meditation session. 

So what does this say about me? 

Well, the first two weeks of an endeavour set by myself seems to be easily carried out. This is probably because I’m riding a wave of inspiration. (It has been recently revealed to me that I’m an emotional type). But after this two week ‘grace period’ when my inspiration peters out, things get difficult. There’s either a slip of some kind, or there’s a temptation to slip. I’ve seen this happen before on numerous occasions and it’s about time I do something about it!

I started this task again two days ago, (the 7th of April).  In Shawn Nevins’ article, ‘The Seeker’s List of Things To Do’, he says the following: 

Fall and rise a thousand times if need be: I know some people who will set a goal to meditate every morning, do so for a week, then give up after they miss a morning. They despair over their temporary failure. The key is to keep at it, even if you miss every other day. Even if you never manage to meditate every single morning, to keep trying is what matters. If you approach the task in that manner, you will discover of what you are capable, and what you are — likely different than your original conception.

Inspiring words. I’ll keep hacking away at this until I reach the 30 day goal I originally set for myself.

I’ll update you on my progress.

A Beginning

Who am I? Why am I? Where am I going when I die? 

These are the questions that we, sooner or later, have to face. The first time they arise, we may be surprised and, at first, confused. ‘Why are these questions relevant?’ we  ask. But as the feeling in us grows that something is not right about our lives as they currently stand, we find that the questions attack us incessantly. 

Who am I?

                                                       Who am I?

                                                                                                                     Who am I?

Our ‘normal’ friends cannot help us, our parents may think we are slightly cooky, and yet we find we have no choice but to search. We may put the search off for some time, we may avoid The Work, but we can never cut it out completely. We can never stop the yearning.

At least that’s true in my case.

This blog will be a log of sorts. I’ll post here from time to time giving updates on my search. The hope is that this blog may be of assistance to others who are interested in this search for Self-Definition or The Truth or Freedom or whatever. I’m convinced that, ultimately, nothing is more important than finding Who We Are, that nothing else will cure the existential angst or satisfy the yearning for completeness.

So, welcome to this blog, I hope you find this helpful.

Until next time